Softspot
Remember that spot on the top of a newborn's head that parents always say be careful around. The skull hasn't completely fused, leaving their brain partially unprotected. That's true. Trust me. My brother's a doctor.
Even if your skull is fully fused, the brain is still exposed to damage or pain...especially since it's our brain that creates our emotions for us.
It could be the fear of public humiliation, or the fact your honest writing leaves you wide open, or maybe it's that third nipple. Whatever it is, the softspot is still out there.
I was reminded of one of mine today. Sure it's been a while for me and my ex. The events of the year after said relationship are only kept around in memories. But I was sharing one of these post-breakup stories with the Counselor today, trying to draw on my experience to relate to or show understanding of the issues in her life, and there it was. My friend made a comment, a fully logical comment, favoring my ex's side. She is most likely correct. But I didn't like it. I didn't say anything, letting the conversation stay on its course. But after I hung up, I was livid inside.
I remembered why I don't talk about my ex much (writing is different altogether). When I talk with someone about her and the things I went through, I share how vulnerable I was during that time. Sharing this, in turn, makes me vulnerable as I discuss it.
And so I felt this anger inside me. I couldn't sit still. I went looking around the kitchen, found what I was looking for, and went to the backyard.
I think my shrink would like to hear about this. And just for the sake of reaction, I'll tell my shrink at the end of the session, "Full beer bottles pop when they hit brick walls, by the way."
Even if your skull is fully fused, the brain is still exposed to damage or pain...especially since it's our brain that creates our emotions for us.
It could be the fear of public humiliation, or the fact your honest writing leaves you wide open, or maybe it's that third nipple. Whatever it is, the softspot is still out there.
I was reminded of one of mine today. Sure it's been a while for me and my ex. The events of the year after said relationship are only kept around in memories. But I was sharing one of these post-breakup stories with the Counselor today, trying to draw on my experience to relate to or show understanding of the issues in her life, and there it was. My friend made a comment, a fully logical comment, favoring my ex's side. She is most likely correct. But I didn't like it. I didn't say anything, letting the conversation stay on its course. But after I hung up, I was livid inside.
I remembered why I don't talk about my ex much (writing is different altogether). When I talk with someone about her and the things I went through, I share how vulnerable I was during that time. Sharing this, in turn, makes me vulnerable as I discuss it.
And so I felt this anger inside me. I couldn't sit still. I went looking around the kitchen, found what I was looking for, and went to the backyard.
I think my shrink would like to hear about this. And just for the sake of reaction, I'll tell my shrink at the end of the session, "Full beer bottles pop when they hit brick walls, by the way."
posted by matty at 4:22 PM
3 Comments:
Even years out from a relationship, it always stings a bit when someone you consider a confident (and, therefore, on your side) takes a view of your prior relationship that you'd rather they not take (i.e. they sound like they just might be seeing things from the perspective of said ex...grrrr). If I had to sum up why it hurts so much? Probably because we feel so attacked by everything that went wrong that we'd like to think that we're totally immune to having caused it. Even if we know we weren't. It's easier to push things away, move on.... which is what getting over someone is all about, right?
"The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, 'Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.'"
-- Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
I hope for the sake of your brother the doctor it wasn't good beer.
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