How Do You Spell Relief?

Yes, I waited until the last moment to turn in my first in a series of grad school applications. Was it all my fault? Of course, not. It wasn't until Saturday that I received any of my letters of recommendations. And for the past two weeks I knew I couldn't turn in my application without them. So, my subconscious (not me) figured I could wait on finishing up the application packet until I got those necessary recommendations. But those professors! Them and their procrastination, waiting so late in the month to complete what I asked of them back in September. It's their fault an ulcer slowly opened inside of me eight hours before the due date.

On Sunday, I edited away, wondering if I would get my last letter of recommendation on Monday. Damn you Post Office and your day of rest! With a dry, hung over taste in my mouth and an aching body, results from a party the night before, I sat at my computer and edited and revised and cleaned up my statement of purpose and my writing samples. I was distracted from this because of the excellent film I saw earlier in the day, Capote. I thought of how it moved me, how I felt sympathy for the characters. (Phillip Seymour Hoffman is an excellent actor, one of the best.)

I worked until close to midnight. With work awaiting me the next morning, I was sick and tired of looking at the same stuff. If it weren't for the sharp, brown eyes of the Counselor, who kindly edited my writing throughout work on Monday, I would not be feeling like I just took some Rolaids. I sat with her in my car, scanning the pages that she had marked. My stomach churned all the while. Fretting and worrying about this application. Can I get in? Will I get in? The post office closed in half an hour. There was no way I could get it done. I thanked the Counselor as best I could for that moment. A nice dinner will have to come later, kisses and hugs for now. I drove off, heading home, to see if the final letter of rec awaited. I passed my ex-girlfriend, sitting in her VW bus at the park, eating a sandwich. This, of course, added a nice little kick to my already aching stomach. I let the hesitation pass through me and then put my foot back down on the accelerator.

At home, a large envelope sat in my thin mailbox. I had work to do. I worked for hours straight. Ran to Kinko's for a power stapler and got some food.

This morning, I was one of two customers at the post office. I had the postal worker postmark the envelope for today. She showed me the date on the sticker on my envelope destined for UCLA. (I asked her to.) Then I went and bought Office Space: Special Edition w/ Flair! I feel much better now, the stress alleviated.

I just wish those professors didn't wait until the last minute.