A Series of Unfortunate Neologisms
I thought I was done with the GRE. Over the holiday break, I received my scores—including my lowly math percentile along with my surprising verbal one—even moreso closing this chapter on my novella of a life. I had put all my vocabulary flashcards away, out of sight, out of mind, in my storage closet, all the while contemplating selling the bastards of my education on eBay. I was putting all of that behind me.
And then as I read my David Rakoff book, there it was on page one (1). Rakoff described the Reagan '80s in New York as "horrible black years of red fish and blue drinks," calling the era "the nadir of all time." There was a GRE word on the opening page of my new reading material. "Nadir" was one of those bastard GRE words written on a pale blue index card; its definition ("the lowest point") scrawled on the back in my handwriting that I've dubbed as "prinsive."
No! I had gone my entire life without using or reading this word. Why now? After comprehending this sentence, I moved on, for I would not quit this book on its first page. For the next few pages, my worries ameliorated as I found that I was reading words that I regularly use in my life: such as "puffy," "headache," and "napalmed." There were also some frequently used terms and phrases: such as "Oh well," "grass soup," and "palsied hand."
But on page sixteen, another GRE word appeared—"bombastic." At first I was agitated. Then I realized I had recently used it often for describing certain people I've come accross in my life (or in the Counselor's life). I understood the sentence and continued on.
To my dismay, words like "asceticism," "assuaged," "quaffing," "obsequious," "mercurial," "ubiquitous" (twice), "innocuous," "demurs," and "derisive" continued to pop up. They slowed my reading as I cursed their presence. Rakoff must've written his book with the Princeton Review GRE book opened up in front of him. I know it. There's no way anybody knows and uses those words regularly. Finally, I persevered over the presence of those words. In fact, I understood most of the book. But damn those GRE flashcards for not teaching me what "epicurean monasticism" means.
I'm switching to Harry Potter. At least I know those words are made up.
And then as I read my David Rakoff book, there it was on page one (1). Rakoff described the Reagan '80s in New York as "horrible black years of red fish and blue drinks," calling the era "the nadir of all time." There was a GRE word on the opening page of my new reading material. "Nadir" was one of those bastard GRE words written on a pale blue index card; its definition ("the lowest point") scrawled on the back in my handwriting that I've dubbed as "prinsive."
No! I had gone my entire life without using or reading this word. Why now? After comprehending this sentence, I moved on, for I would not quit this book on its first page. For the next few pages, my worries ameliorated as I found that I was reading words that I regularly use in my life: such as "puffy," "headache," and "napalmed." There were also some frequently used terms and phrases: such as "Oh well," "grass soup," and "palsied hand."
But on page sixteen, another GRE word appeared—"bombastic." At first I was agitated. Then I realized I had recently used it often for describing certain people I've come accross in my life (or in the Counselor's life). I understood the sentence and continued on.
To my dismay, words like "asceticism," "assuaged," "quaffing," "obsequious," "mercurial," "ubiquitous" (twice), "innocuous," "demurs," and "derisive" continued to pop up. They slowed my reading as I cursed their presence. Rakoff must've written his book with the Princeton Review GRE book opened up in front of him. I know it. There's no way anybody knows and uses those words regularly. Finally, I persevered over the presence of those words. In fact, I understood most of the book. But damn those GRE flashcards for not teaching me what "epicurean monasticism" means.
I'm switching to Harry Potter. At least I know those words are made up.
posted by matty at 2:01 PM
2 Comments:
Maybe you should write a screenplay using only made-up words.
And the actors should all wear rhinocerous and butterfly costumes throughout.
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